In an Impulse

Stuck in this confinement, my woes kept within
A mask over my soul, but I’m barely breathing’
I hear their shouts, I can’t do another day
They say “kaya mo yan!” but they keep pushing me away’

I’m young, but my anxiety’s eating me alive
I’m fighting with myself. I’m just trying to survive
I close my eyes, wishing ill never be the same
I look back to my life and it seems I’m insane

Nothing wakes me up, than the whispers deep inside
I learned to befriend them, in my heart they reside
I felt all alone, but darkness wrapped me beside
It welcomed me, i no longer have to hide

Can’t you hear? In those four walls, are my silent screams?
Oh they are as loud as echoes in my dreams
Vivid are the dark thoughts that drown me senselessly
I reach up shore, hoping someone helps me willingly

I’m not gonna lie, and tell you everything’s alright
I’m not gonna try, in this world there’s no light
Voicing all on paper, keeping me up at night
Telling no one, how long before I end the fight?

Tonight I’ll try to think long and hard
this time I’ll think, who my thoughts regard
I’m not myself, I don’t know what to believe
One day i hope that someone wouldn’t leave

But then the years flew by and I’m still me
An impulse i had but i no longer can see
endless cogs spinning in my head
i’m still here but i’m no longer dead